How does hiring a band for your wedding affect your first dance?
Live music is wonderful, and hiring a band that reflects your tastes can really set the tone for your reception. It does make choreographing your first dance (or father-daughter/mother-son dances) a little trickier though because you need to know ahead of time exactly how the song will be played. Here are three ways to handle it so that get the most out of both your band and your dance lessons.
Working With the Band
Our preferred method is for us to edit the original song and have you send it to the band. Most bands are fine with this as long as you give them enough time to practice the arrangement, and some even prefer it because they can give you exactly what you want. Choreography and practice can proceed with the edited version while the band works on the live version. If there’s enough time they may even send you a demo when it’s ready so there won’t be any surprises on the big day.
Another option is to ask the band to send you a recording of what they plan to play. Make sure they know you’d like it to be about a minute and a half long. It’s great to have the version that you’ll actually be dancing to, but keep in mind that good bands are busy , so they might be slow in sending what you need.
Using a Recording Instead
And finally, whether it’s because you love the original artist or just don’t want the uncertainty of live music, there’s nothing wrong with dancing your first dance to a recorded version and letting the band play everything else.
There is no right or wrong when it comes to your first dance, and the most important thing is that you enjoy yourselves. Just remember that whichever way you decide to go, timely and clear communication with the band and your instructor is key.
Creating Chesney and Stephen’s first dance was a lot of fun because they somehow managed to be both playful and focused. So how lucky were we that we also got to choreograph their ceremony exit, mother-son dance, and fathers-daughter dance. That’s right, fathers. Chesney honored all three of her father figures with a dance, and it was awesome.
Always having fun.
Listen to her heart.
The three amigos.
Putting this lift in Chesney & Stephen’s first dance really wowed the crowd!
Perfection at the Pink Palace.
The perfect balance of fun and hard work.
Fun with Dads.
Don’t forget Mom.
Chesney & Stephen’s sassy first dance.
(Please excuse the choppy video – we got so excited watching it that we forgot to pay attention to the camera!)
So you’re ready to buy ballroom dance shoes, but you’re not sure where to start? Relax, I’m going to walk you through it.
Characteristics of Ballroom Dance Shoes
There are two main features that distinguish ballroom dance shoes from regular footwear. The first is a steel shank for maximum support and durability, and the second is a suede sole. Suede has the perfect amount of grip. Too much grip (think tennis shoes) and your foot won’t turn freely. Too little grip and you’ll slip and slide. Either can result in injury, so if you need to justify the cost of dance shoes, just think of them as safety equipment.
Beyond the basics, shoes are categorized by the type of dancing they’re intended for. For men the choices are pretty straightforward. A classic black 5-holed oxford, while designed for standard/smooth dancing, is a good choice for all around use. They usually come in leather or patent leather, but otherwise there isn’t much variation. If you plan to do mainly Latin/rhythm dancing (or if you want to add a bit of height), you’ll want a Latin shoe which will have a softer, less structured design and a Cuban heel. Smooth leather or suede is fine, but as with the oxford, they should be black.
Women’s shoes are categorized similarly. Where they differ is in the wide variety of styles, colors, and embellishments available. A classic pump, in either leather or satin, is the norm for standard/smooth dancing. Some come with a strap across the instep (which I highly recommend) to decrease the chance of you stepping out them. Shoes for Latin/rhythm dancing are strappier and often open-toed. They are probably the best choice for general dancing. For your first pair you can’t go wrong with a nude or tan color which matches everything, blends with the floor, and elongates your leg line. Sadly, it is still difficult to find shoes that match darker skin tones, so if you can’t find a good match, you may want to have them dyed. Your second pair will probably be black, followed closely by red, silver, leopard, rhinestone… You’ll see.
A third category, for both men and women, is practice shoes. Basically they’re a less stylish (but comfier) all-purpose shoe that you may appreciate if you dance a lot.
Materials
Leather is a good choice for both men’s and women’s shoes. It’s classic, durable, and will mold to your foot somewhat over time. It’s also the easiest to keep clean.
Patent leather may look snazzy, but it sticks to itself, so if you’re brushing your feet as you should be, you can easily trip yourself up. It also scuffs up pretty easily and doesn’t have much give.
Suede has a nice look and feel. Because it’s softer than leather it molds nicely to the foot, but that also means it’s a little harder to maintain.
Satin doesn’t have much give and it’s hard to keep clean. It does however come in an amazing array of colors and can even be dyed to match your attire.
Cost
Don’t waste your money on a cheap pair of dance shoes. They won’t be comfortable, and they won’t hold up. Expect to pay from $100 – $200 for a decent pair from a reputable brand. Oh, and those higher end brands usually come with double padding – sigh.
Fit
Sizes will vary some from brand to brand, so you may have to experiment a bit, but generally you’ll wear your usual size. One exception is with ladies open-toed styles where the toe should come all the way to the front edge (or even slightly beyond), in which case you might need a half size smaller. The shoe should feel snug and supportive. Don’t even think about trying to live with a heel that slips or a toe that binds. You’ll be putting a lot of miles on these bad boys, so they better be comfy. If in doubt, bring them to your next lesson and let your instructor check the fit.
Unfortunately, most dance shoes only come in a medium width. This is particularly problematic for the guys since they have fewer style options. For ladies with a narrow or wide foot, styles that lace or have adjustable buckles may be a good solution. Be careful of very strappy styles however, as they can dig in or allow toes to escape in weird ways. Styles with mesh panels can offer a similar look while still providing good support.
Finally, many companies can accommodate a certain degree of customization, such as two different sizes or different heel heights, but it will cost extra and the sale is final.
Heels & Closures
Men’s heel heights are usually 1 inch for standard/smooth and 1 ½ inches for Latin/rhythm. For ladies the default is a slender 2 ½ inch heel, but fortunately these days there are a lot of other options. Heights from ¾ – 4 inches are usually available, as are varying degrees of flare (how wide it becomes at the bottom) and much chunkier Cuban heels.
Men’s shoes generally just lace up, but because ladies shoes have a strap (or many straps) that can be adjusted, the types of attachments are also more varied. As mentioned before, laces can be helpful in getting a good fit, but they do run the risk of coming untied. Buckles are the most secure, but a faux-buckle clasp is pretty good too, and it’s quicker to take on and off. My favorite is snaps, but they’re not as widely available.
Where to Buy Ballroom Dance Shoes
Unless you live in a large city with a lot of dance studios (Hello NY and LA), you’re probably going to have to order online. Make sure to check return policies before you order, and when you try them on, stand on a towel to keep the suede clean. And remember, custom orders cannot be returned.
Shoe (and dress) vendors also set up booths at large competitions, so if you hear of one coming to your area, it may be worth checking out. I got one of my favorite pairs of all time on clearance at an event.
Alternatives to Buying Ballroom Dance Shoes
If you’re not ready to invest in a dedicated pair of ballroom dance shoes, it’s perfectly fine to dance in shoes you already own. A few simple modifications might be helpful though. If they won’t stay on securely, you can buy shoe bands to put around your instep. They’re basically wide rubber bands that come in colors (black, nude, clear, etc.) to match your shoes. Some are even adjustable. Another option to prevent slippage is double sided shoe tape. I haven’t tried it, so I can’t attest to its comfort or efficacy, but it’s worth a try. And finally, you can buy sued pads with adhesive backs, stick them to the bottoms of your shoes, and voila, your favorite kicks now have a dancing sole.
Time To Shop!
Here are a few links to get you started. I’ve purchased shoes from most (but not all) of these companies and been happy with them.
Fun final note – In the eighties male competitors often dyed their outfits to match their partners, so somewhere in Jesse’s stash of memorabilia is a pair of purple satin Cuban-heeled dance shoes.
Imagine a gorgeous couple gliding and twirling through pink-tinged fog to the romantic sound of Luther Vandross. Yeah, Carla and Loray’s first dance was dreamy.
I promise to love faithfully
They even look good practicing!
This couple had a lot of pluses starting out. They’re both really sweet, both have lilting Caribbean accents (love that), and are both in the military. Why should that last part matter? In my experience military couples are super easy to work with. They pay attention, take instruction incredibly well, and don’t seem to know the word can’t. Plus, they practice!
Carla & Loray’s First Dance Was Pure Romance
The key to progressing quickly (and having fun doing it) is to learn from your mistakes, but to not take them too seriously. Laughter loosens the mind. Extra props to Loray for being the first person I’ve ever seen get the suave over the head move on the first try!
Choosing wedding music is an emotional decision. We often meet couples that are worried that their song isn’t “danceable”. Let’s put that to rest right now. Your song is not too fast. Or too slow, too obscure, too weird, too racy, or too anything else. Your song is your song. If you love it, we can make it work.
Your song is too long though. Sorry, but the average song is 3-4 minutes long, and the average attentions span is much less. The good news is that most songs can be edited down to about a minute and a half (the sweet spot) while keeping the best parts.
Don’t forget your exit music
The song determines the dance. There are dozens of dances that are fun and appropriate for weddings, and which one you end up doing will depend on the tempo and rhythm of your music. Also, keep in mind that covers and remixes can change the mood of a song completely. Think Beyonce’s original Crazy in Love versus the Fifty Shades of Grey remix.
Can’t decide between slow or fast? Do both. Medleys can be fun (if they’re not too long) and are a nice surprise for your guests. They can also be a good compromise if you have wildly different tastes. So go ahead and mix his country ballad with your nineties hip-hop, and don’t worry what anyone else thinks.
Beyond the bride and groom
Dad’s cry too. In fact, many of them bawl like babies during the father-daughter dance. If that’s your jam, then by all means use that sentimental slow song that you both love. But if you prefer not to turn on the waterworks mid-dance, pick something fast and fun. Maybe even something silly, like a medley of his favorite disco tunes.
Did your mom or dad sing to you when you were little? Those catchy ditties are often real songs, and they make great choices for father-daughter or mother son dances because they’re funny and have meaning for you. Ting tang walla walla bing bang anyone?
Editing Makes It Perfect
Occasionally your song will be perfect as is, but more often than not, it will need some editing. Here are a few things that a good sound person can do for your song: shorten it (imperative), slow it down or speed it up to make it more comfortable, add or remove vocals, mix it with another song, add sound effects. If you can dream it, it can probably be done.
Wow, what a year it was. We offered more free community dance classes in 2021 than ever before!
Beautiful people and gorgeous sunsets.
The Downtown Memphis Commission and Memphis River Parks Partnership kindly let us use Fourth Bluff Park to offer a community salsa class in April, and the response was so amazing that we quickly set up three more. The Latin Dance Series (merengue, bachata, and another salsa class) made the hot these hot summer evenings even hotter.
Salsa | Fourth Bluff Park | April 17, 2021
Merengue | Fourth Bluff Park | April 22, 2021
Bachata | Fourth Bluff Park | June 19, 2021
Salsa | Fourth Bluff Park | July 24, 2021
We also partnered with The Brooks Museum to offer a merengue class during an outdoor exhibit by Ball Nogues Studio. Dancing in and among those fantastical creations was a real delight.
Merengue | Brooks Museum | May 1, 2021
And let’s not forget the crazy weekend that was Fieldaze, when downtown Memphis turned into a playground for adults. Salsa at Wiseacre Brewery and Swing in Fourth Bluff Park were our contributions to the mix.
Push-Pull Swing | Fourth Bluff Park | November 6, 2021
The Fallback Fall Dance Series rounded out the year, pairing fun social dances with old school music. It got a little cold towards the end, but as soon as the dancing began everyone was feeling fine.
Nightclub Two-Step | Fourth Bluff Park | October 9, 2021
Push-Pull Swing | Fourth Bluff Park | December 11, 2021
If you missed out on the fun last year, don’t worry, we’ll be back at it again soon. Although, maybe not in July or December. 😉
We’d love to have you join in the fun, so be sure to check our New & Events page regularly. Better yet, sign up for our newsletter, What’s Happening At Cat’s Ballroom, and get information about special events and classes sent right to your inbox.
And remember, your first lesson with us is free, so why not try one today?
With the Cat Tracks series we want to celebrate three things: 1) Memphis places and spaces, 2) our amazing students, and 3) the abundant variety of ballroom dance styles.
Pocket Garden
Tucked in an alley in Overton Square is a magical little world of murals, sculptures, and gardens. John is a car guy, so a mural of a vintage vehicle seemed like the perfect place to leave some Cat Tracks.
Our Hoopty Hoop
Colleen started dancing in college, and now John is happily along for the ride. They are smart, kind, and lovely to work with. At the time of this video, they had been dancing with us for about a year. West coast swing is just one of many dances they enjoy, which goes to show what you can accomplish with a little hard work and practice.
West coast swing is a laid back and playful dance that’s perfect for blues and funk. Danced in a “slot” (like an old mechanical bank), it was supposedly developed in Hollywood in the early days of film.
Showing out in Overton Square
Experienced dancers will notice that this demonstration doesn’t contain any whips (a staple of WCS). That’s because they learned this dance over Zoom during lock-down! Whips are tricky to teach by video, but since we’ve resumed in-person lessons, we’ve definitely added them to their repertoire.
West coast swing (sans whips)
Just in case you’ve never seen an antique mechanical bank
Trying to think of the perfect gift for that hard to shop for person? Dance lessons make a great gift for almost anyone on almost any occasion.
They’re Unique
Chances are if you give someone a gift certificate for dance lessons, you won’t be duplicating someone else’s gift idea. Can you say that about a sweater? Your spouse, boss, sibling, or friend will appreciate that you took the time to choose something original and fun just for them.
Skills Last Forever
It’s like riding a bike. Once someone learns how to dance, they’ll be able to use that ability anywhere and anytime. On a cruise? They know how to dance. At a class reunion? They know how to dance. Wedding reception? That’s right. They know how to dance. And dancing has no expiration date, so they can do it well into old age.
Experiences Are Better Than Things
Classes and lessons of any kind make good gifts. Not only because they won’t end up collecting dust in the closet, but also because, whether good or bad, new experiences almost always leave lasting memories (and often funny stories) in a way tangible gifts rarely do. And let’s face it, most of us already have all the stuff we need.
People Secretly Dream of Learning to Dance
If I had a dime for every time I’ve heard someone say, “I wish I’d done this sooner,” my piggy bank would be full. Gliding across the floor like Fred and Ginger is something many people dream of, but few actually attempt. Give them the gentle push they need to start now and not waste any more time daydreaming. They’ll thank you for it.
In Parts I and II of the Benefits of Dancing, I discussed the rational and emotional factors that induce people to choose dancing as a hobby. So why a third post with more reasons to dance? Because there are a few prospects that don’t fit squarely in either camp.
Dancing ticks many of the boxes we may have for a rewarding hobby. It’s social, provides both mental and physical exercise, and offers a creative outlet. How’s that for well-rounded self-improvement?
Avoiding embarrassment on the dance floor is both emotional and practical. No one wants to be left out or to admit that they’re a lousy dancer, but neither do you want to dance with someone and step all over their feet. Learning to dance properly is beneficial for both you, and your potential partners.
If you want to improve your conversational abilities, dancing is perfect. When you’re literally face-to-face with someone, it’s almost impossible not to speak to them. Since a song is only a few minutes long though, there’s very little danger of running out of things to say. It makes for good practice.
Have you every wanted to have a private conversation with someone who’s always surrounded by admirers? Or get the ear of someone who has access and influence? Not to sound Machiavellian, but dancing can work as an excellent networking tool. Think of the span of a dance kind of like an elevator pitch, but more fun.
Dancing is also unparalleled for developing leadership and teamwork skills. You simply cannot accomplish anything on the dance floor unless you cooperate. If you’re in the roll of the leader you must be attuned to your partner and everyone around you. You’ll also become better at planning, and simultaneously more decisive and more adaptable. As a follower you’ll develop patience, mental flexibility, and an ability to pick up subtle cues.
And the final reason is one you might not appreciate right away. Once you’ve learned to dance yourself, you can help ease other peoples’ anxiety about dancing. Ask someone standing on the sidelines to dance or help someone who’s struggling, and you’ll make their day.
So now that you know about all the benefits that dancing has to offer, what are you waiting for?
Busy, busy, busy. This couple could never seem to find time to practice, which meant their choreography took a little longer than usual. They were faithful with their lessons though, so in the end Abbey and Phillip’s first dance came together and was a big hit.
Prince charming needs to be wound up!
Abbey & Phillip’s first dance had lots of hand changes.
So smooth.
Fun – like them!
First dance tada!
West coast swing isn’t the first dance that comes to mind for a wedding, but its playful feel fit Abbey and Phillip perfectly. And the part where she winds up her prince charming to animate him? Priceless.
Even though the song says, “I can’t dance”, this beautiful bride and handsome groom swirling and twirling together under a canopy of twinkling lights told a different story.
